knowhere | Hologram

[ The hologram is rather funny looking, walking in place through an unseen crowd, occasionally making weird arm motions that are either steering people out of his way or a terrible interpretive dance. ]

Okay. Nobody panic. There may or may not be a cat wandering the space station. Or. You know. Crawling around in the ducts. I'm not sure if he's in them yet.

For those that aren't from Earth, a cat is a small, nonverbal ball of orange fur with four legs. This answers to Niels.

[ He stops walking momentarily, but then shrugs and resumes the pace. ]

Okay, he doesn't answer to Niels, but he'll glance at you for a good four seconds before he goes back to doing what he wants.

If you see him, please, please don't spook him. Just call me. He's not a normal housecat - trust me we do not want him freaking out in a confined space. You should see what he does to his carriers.

[ It has, at least, occurred to him that everyone from an Earth is going to think this is a joke or perhaps that he's crazy. He might as well go for broke, right? ]

Um. Better let me know if you see any. Unusual. Light shows. And don't use any high-speed bouncing blurs of orange for target practice. You'll only make him harder to catch.

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You lost Niels? Robbie!

[She doesn't actually know anything about cats that doesn't come from a pet food commercial.]

I didn't lose Niels!

He escaped. This has nothing to do with me being a bad cat-guardian.

[Given the sheer volume of cat videos that exist on Earth, Drift can only guess humanity had some strange neo-religion based on the animals. Judging by the way Niels seems to be the dominate one in this relationship, that only supports Drift's theory. Well, he's not one to question the apotheosis of a neo-feline religion so...]

What offerings do you usually provide in order to appease him?

[There must divine kitten treats in the marketplace somewhere.]

Well, it's not like he can get hurt...

There's a song that goes with the offering. Something like Mao? I think it's Mao.

( Yes. It's absolutely Mao. )

( Rodimus is sulking. He is in the middle of a VERY GOOD SULK somewhere far away from most everyone on Knowhere because he is 4.2 million going on five. But-- )

What does a bouncing light show have to do with a small fuzzy organic?

[ Luckily, someone does not have telepathy amongst his powers and can't hear how he's being thought of. ]

Offerings? You mean like cat food? Well, he hates Meow Mix, I know that. Anything fish, he'll stuff his whole head in the bowl if it's fish. Those little freeze-dried chicken treats.

[ Try finding that on a space station though. ]

I've been giving him whatever meat I'm eating to try. Cats are carnivores.

And if he blows a hole in the hull? Or pees on the computer that controls the life support?

Do you honestly think that'd make this place more of a mess?

['Cause she doesn't.]

Yes? I'm really super fond of breathing. I don't know what is do without it.

The small, fuzzy organic is causing the light show.

It's the decapitated head of a Celestial! I'm not sure Niels even could break it.

I'm offering worst case scenarios! I'm more concerned about what happens when he sees a Shi'Ar.

Mao-mao-something?

[Sing it with him Rodimus, this sounds familiar.]

[Lucky indeed, but from an external perspective who really is the owner in that relationship? You sound pretty whipped, Robbie.]

So food is what he prefers? Hmm, I think I've seen 'fish' in the marketplace? [Probably best to verify though. Both its existence and his definition of 'fish'. Not that he'll ever understand the carnivore thing (slightly gross okay?) beyond 'it's an organic thing'.]

When and where did he last grace you with his presence?

Edited (engrish wut) 2014-09-16 18:00 (UTC)

[Headtilt.]

If it doesn't answer to Niels, why do you call it that?

Huh?

[The cat -> bird -> Shi'ar connection is a little too tenuous for her to get the joke, even after mainlining Sylvester and Tweety cartoons during her early years on the surface.]

Because that's his name? He's a cat; humans name them.

I was just thinking, maybe he'd respond if you used his actual name. I suppose his 'cat' name.

[Are you violating his rights by forcing a name on him? Maybe that's why he runs away, friend. ]

His what?

Cats don't have their own names. They're. Cats. They don't talk. They think that humans are big, stupid cats that do everything funny but know where all the food is.

[ Infringing his rights? The cat gets better treatment than Robbie. ]

Have you ever asked? In his language?

They don't have a language! They're just cats! Cat people like Tigra don't count.

With the feathers and all? Work with me, Nita. I think they smell like birds.

['Just' cats? *GASP*]

I should hope he doesn't hear you talking about him like that.

[Wing would run away from you, too. ]

[ He's not whipped. He… cats are really good electric blankets, okay? And lap warmers. And Niels is pretty good at letting Robbie carry him around and pet him. ]

Yeah. He can't eat anything that's not food. And I've gotten fish at the market - I just don't question what kind of fish. It's all alien fish all the time down there.

[ Robbie quirks an eyebrow at the last question. It's all sarcasm all the time. ]

His lordship last "graced me with his presence" about an hour ago in my quarters.

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