hologram

[gunlegs]

Since there's more than two Cybertronians stuck together, I'm gonna be hammering in a gentle reminder that the Tyrest Accord still exists as long as I'm here. And that means no spreading any of our wartime scrap to anyone on this station. Any of it. Specially if you enjoy your freedom and your health.

To any of you fleshy types: If some two-bit Decepticon lowlife comes in offering something too good to be true, something particularly gruesome and good at making things you don't like explode - just don't even bother. Their faction name isn't there for fun. You'd be surprised how many times organics have fallen for the 'used antimatter cannon' routine.

My name's Fortress Maximus, by the way.

[Yes, it's a mouthful. Some robots have one of those names.]

I'll be here if you're having trouble with any of our lunkheads.

Comments

hologram

[aerospacecommander]

I did always want to try and start my own illegal trading business.

hologram

[sorrynotguilty]

Starscream, I am sorely tempted to look the other way should Fortress Maximus come to the belief that you are better off without wings. Or a face plate.

hologram

[sorrynotguilty]

A Shockwave that is not from our own dimension, Maximus. He nor Starscream can adhere to the Accord if it isn't something that exists in their reality.

holoform; private

[gunlegs]

Unless this Shockwave comes from a universe where he makes energon sticks instead of things that like to break reality, I'd say overlooking him would be a stupid idea.

holoform; private

[sorrynotguilty]

Yes, what a serious oversight.

Max, I am not saying to overlook him. I am stating the obvious: you can't expect a certain behavior if the rules regarding that behavior are unknown. The first step to remedy that is to teach them.

hologram

[gunlegs]

[Being (sort of?) backed by Megatron is seriously the weirdest goddamn thing that's happened since arriving on this station.]

[walkingballpit]

So if someone's from the same clan or team or whatever, just tar 'em all with the same brush?

[ Ugh why is that every uptight crankpot's solution to everything? ]

holoform;

[gunlegs]

["Starscream was nice"]

["Starscream was nice""]

["Starscream was nice"]

... You must be getting someone mixed up.

[hologram]

[littlecousin]

[Maybe there's a Shattered Glass Starscream running around that Max doesn't know about. That must be it.]

Black, uh...helmet? Kinda like yours? Turns into a plane?

[At least that's what she assumes the wings are for.]

hologram

[aerospacecommander]

That's not going to happen. Isn't he like a pacifist or something?

[gunlegs]

[Is he kidding?]

I don't think you're understanding the type of Cybertronian that decides to go through with the Decepticon rites. It isn't because of their good will and compassion.

And, didn't think I'd need to spell this out, but if you're approached by an Autobot then that's obviously equally illegal.

hologram

[sorrynotguilty]

. . .

[ come back in a few moments, Starscream. Megatron is laughing. ]

[walkingballpit]

[ Nope. He's mostly ignoring the context and zooming in on the "lumping them all together" aspect. ]

Right. Because all us fleshies can't wait to get our hands on weapons of mass destruction. Cause we're so delicate.

[ He snorts, mumbling under his breath. ]

Betcha me and Nita could take any two of ya.

[littlecousin]

Robbie!

[Don't be a jerk.]

...We totally could, though.

[They totally could.]

holoform; private

[gunlegs]

[Is Megatron seriously trying to guide him? He'd ordinarily be a lot less accepting of taking advice from someone like that, but given the situation and the fact that the point was perfectly reasonable...]

If they're anything like our universe's versions, I doubt they'll react well to having a list of rules thrown in their faces.

I'll see what I can do for Shockwave.

[hologram]

[gunlegs]

["Starscream was nice"]

He's got that superficial charm. Don't fall for it.

[walkingballpit]

Nita! I'm not getting brainwashed into their us-vs-them, Chevy-Ford-Chevy-Ford mentality! Nothing good happens when everything's black and white.

[ He's not being the jerk; they are. ]

Absolutely.

[gunlegs]

[THE BIGGEST SQUINT]

Is being this sensitive about your fleshiness a common thing?

hologram

[rodders]

Is he a-- ( OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN THIS IS GREAT. ) You're kidding, right? Fortress Maximus a pacifist.

( Please harass him more so you can find out what sort of pacifist he is, Starscream. PLEASE. )

hologram

[aerospacecommander]

Why are you laughing?!

hologram

[rodders]

That's good though! Taking it seriously and all that. ( Fort Max doing well actually makes Rodimus feel good - at least he's done something right for the guy. ) So how's Luna 1 and Red Alert?

hologram

[aerospacecommander]

In my universe he doesn't seem to like fighting. Not that I've ever really hung out with the Autobots or anything.

[walkingballpit]

[ How dare you?! He does not have an inferiority complex. ]

No offense to the mechanical aboard, but fleshy humanoids have you beat on kissing alone.

[hologram]

[littlecousin]

Charm? Dude, he thought I was a siren and asked me if I lured men to their deaths.

[He's silly.

Also, Nita is very hard to offend. (Naturally Rodimus managed.) ]

hologram

[rodders]

Here's a tip: ours doesn't like Decepticons very much.