knowhere | Hologram

[ The hologram is rather funny looking, walking in place through an unseen crowd, occasionally making weird arm motions that are either steering people out of his way or a terrible interpretive dance. ]

Okay. Nobody panic. There may or may not be a cat wandering the space station. Or. You know. Crawling around in the ducts. I'm not sure if he's in them yet.

For those that aren't from Earth, a cat is a small, nonverbal ball of orange fur with four legs. This answers to Niels.

[ He stops walking momentarily, but then shrugs and resumes the pace. ]

Okay, he doesn't answer to Niels, but he'll glance at you for a good four seconds before he goes back to doing what he wants.

If you see him, please, please don't spook him. Just call me. He's not a normal housecat - trust me we do not want him freaking out in a confined space. You should see what he does to his carriers.

[ It has, at least, occurred to him that everyone from an Earth is going to think this is a joke or perhaps that he's crazy. He might as well go for broke, right? ]

Um. Better let me know if you see any. Unusual. Light shows. And don't use any high-speed bouncing blurs of orange for target practice. You'll only make him harder to catch.

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Robbie, they're like 20 times his size.

[Wait until Niels discovers her ankle wings.]

I guess you could say ...

The cat is outta the bag.

[Seriously, is he the only one of these metal-morons who has spent enough time on Earth to know what a cat is?]

Nita, my cat took down a room full of Z-list supervillains. Solo.

[ With a hair ball. ]

I'm telling you size doesn't matter. He thinks he's Catzilla.

[ Ten bucks Niels goes for her ankles. ]

He doesn't have a bracelet. And he couldn't use it anyway.

Look, he's not exactly a higher life form. He's my cat, and I love him but I've also seen him lick himself for two hours straight.

Edited 2014-09-16 18:48 (UTC)

Your timing is less than purr-fect. Find cat then puns.

It doesn't mean he can't overhear you.

[Said 'cat' could be right behind you, hearing you talk such terrible things. FOR SHAME.]

...so he's your possession?! Like a slave?

It means he probably has no idea what I'm saying though.

[ And all the cat would care about is why the evening meal is 4 minutes late.

Robbie looks affronted at this line of questioning. ]

Wha- what?? Yes, he's my cat. That makes me a cat owner. He's not a slave though. I can't get him to not unroll the toilet paper, and you think I've got him toiling away all day.

So what you are saying is that this is some sort of cat-tastrophe.

So, he'll be fine. He'll come back when he's hungry and you can put a collar with a transponder on him.

[Cats wear collars, right? She thinks so.]

[ She probably has a point. Odds are that Niels is fine - he did spend months running away from Robbie and his previous owner. Still - it's a strange place and that's his cat. It's fambly. ]

Will you please help me find him?

I'd feline if I told you I hadn't heard that one before.

Pretty sure there's plenty more to panic over than a wandering cat. [A beat, because unusual light shows -] What makes him not so normal, exactly?

He got caught in a lab accident a few years ago. He got doused with hyperkinetic energy; it's not like he's radioactive.

Are you sure of that? He never responds to what you say?

[DUBIOUS.]

[Look as affronted as you want, slaveowner.]

...but you've tried to get him to do that, with the 'toilet paper'?

[You MONSTER.]

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, just wondering what to look out for. Flashing, unusual lights wasn't too detailed to go on in a space station.

[She doesn't really get pets--the best Atlantis can muster is octopuses--but she can tell when her friends are upset.]

Sure.

...How do you find a cat?

You dress up in a catsuit and tie a belt of sardines around your waist, crawl around and use a kitty soundbox to lure them out.

[ That was completely straight faced. ]

What do you think you do? You look for his path of destruction and follow it faster than he's moving.

[Not even Nita buys that, even for a split second.]

Maybe someone has sensors that can detect the signature your powers give off?

[All that time hanging around the Fantastic Four has been good for something!]

He only says one thing! Meow. That's it. It's just the noise cats make. It doesn't have a specific meaning - or if it does, it means pay attention to me. And I do pay attention. He's a perfectly healthy cat.

[ Aside from the lab accident that have him powers, but he wasn't Robbie's cat at that point. ]

Uh, yeah? Toilet paper isn't meant to be unrolled. It doesn't store so hot like that, and - look how would you react if I completely unspooled every spool of cable and wire on the station? Cause it's like that.

[ That's a robot friendly analogy, he thinks. ]

Then I'll just have to come up with something a little more claw-ver.

Yeah! ( The tune Rodimus sings is not the Meow Mix jingle, however, but something more akin to The Imperial March. ) Mao-mao-mao-mao--

Is that all there is to it?

You guys can do that?

( What the heck. )

[What's an electric blanket? That sounds...kinky. (especially with the petting an all)]

Defining 'not-food' is sort of another thing though. But fish is safe then, alien or otherwise?

[This he can work with.]

Only an hour ago? Maybe he had business to attend to and will be back soon...

It's good of you to worry though, this station is full of...perils masquerading as normalcy. [Please see the Brain of Nowhere. Also that guy in the marketplace with the thing that looks like a statue that's really just a well trained shoplifting deterrent. Drift is pretty sure that thing could eat small children if inclined.] Does Niels have any favorite haunts or hangouts?

Maybe he lacks the ability to make human words? There are other ways of communicating, after all.

[Binary code, for instance!]

....I would wonder what had upset you that you felt the need to act out like that.

[Poor dear, tell Wing your problems.]

Uh. Some of us can. Special circumstances.

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